i hate mondays!

GOD i hate mondays.. i really REALLY do... it seems that whatever problems we are having .. are MAGNIFIED six zillion percent..(fine. so i exaggerate.. you knew that..*L*)
lets just say that we went to a lawyer today... to try to straighten out financial mess that is SURE to occur because...(its official) honeymoon has quit work... and applied for disability...
now this is good.. cause god KNOWS i worry so flippin much about him doing what he WAS doing in trying to do two.. three jobs at once..
but i tell ya...i just MELTED DOWN today...
lets just say i got my WALKING in ... and that it had to do with MUCH swearing and yelling and getting out of the car and asking.. nay DEMANDING that honeymoon get IN the passenger seat and let ME drive .. cause from the looks of him AFTER the lawyer visit... between the red face... the bulging veins.. the twitching eye.. (he .. not i ) i was NOT going to let him drive home...
grrrrrrrrrrrrr

well... after much standing in the rain and wind without my JACKET... he finally let me walk quite a ways.. grrrrrrrrrr and THEN got in the passenger side...*sigh*.. so give me a flippin GUILT trip... when i am trying to make sure he DOESNT have a stroke .. i practically GIVE him one..:-(
i realize this is hard for him.... its hard on BOTH of us... for many many MANY reasons... and NONE of them really stem from money...but rather i am sure for he.. as well as me... it stems from that GODAWFUL feeling of lack of CONTROL... of his health.. of our business being lost or at least REALLY scaled down... and because of my FEAR of losing him to this GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR NASTY heart problem...

we believe now that vioxx was the culprit... there is NO history of heart problems in his family... and he was HEALTHY as a horse before vioxx... and the reason they GAVE him vioxx was because of a condition that a second doctor says he didnt even HAVE..*sigh*..

i ended up not eating till 5pm... grabbed some ham and rolled it up and ate it on the run..later i had a big salad with a bit of roasted chicken on top... i am CURRENTLY mowing on some califlower and water...
not exACTly great eating today... but considering for the FIRST time in 9 months of low carbing.. i actually thought about grabbing some high carb CRAP just to ...just to... well I DONT KNOW why it crossed my mind... but it sure as hell did..:-(

oh well... monday is over for this week...

time to press on to terrific tuesday...:-)