woke up to SNOW  

nov 27 2004 


okay... been sick with the flu for over a week... finally got some new pics to put up that DONT make me look like death warmed over..
only bout 11 days till the 25th anniversary now... then i can quit low carbing..*L*.. jest kiddin...
actually only about five or six weeks till an ENTIRE YEAR of low carbing has gone by for me... amazing but true..
anyone who thinks I CANT DO THIS.. well.. think again.. cause if the TACO BELL/COKE queen can do this.. guess what bubba? so can you..

its pretty much one step in front of the other... no big deal... after the first two weeks..... heck.. its a blippin cake walk... honest!
now .. i managed to have some NOT so low in carb things for thanksgiving dinner.. daughter #1 made it.. turkey .. potatoes..pies,,yeah.. the whole shootin bang..
but .. and this is a big butt (and believe me.. i know BIG BUTTS *L*) i didnt eat everything .. but i DID have a tbsp of mashed potato.. and a tablespoon of cranberry sauce.. and the CRUST off daughters slice of pie (yeah.. i could LIVE off crust.. never have been a pizza lover... but give me the CRUST and i am in heaven.. same as toast.. just the CRUST please. and pie? yup CRUST only please...(sure... sounds like i am one of the FREAKIN BLUES BROTHERS ... 4 fried chickens.. toast ..dry..*L*) but hey... i am a crusty kinda guy (okay.. fine.. girl.. woman..what BLOODY ever..*L*)
anywho... the deal is this..
i ate alot of turkey.. i ate alot of veggies... i drank too much of the DEVIL coffee... i drank alot of water too..
good for me,,
now... dont get me wrong... i am not a saint... i have my limits to this ... cause one of these days... my nephew will come... and THAT tends to mean a few days and nites of tequila... daughters and i (and a sister usually ) usually party for three or four days on end... and SINCE i havent had but ONE low carb BEER (and i dont even LIKE beer) for a YEAR now... no telling what days of TEQUILA might do to the old bod... *shiver* scary...
oh no.. i am not a saint... thats for sure..

nov 27 2004 

WE GOT A HOT TUB!!! 

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what it takes..:-(  


i really hate my hair getting long... i love it short.. where i can just wash and go.. it dries soooooooooo slow when it gets this long .. its too thick in the back..
but hey.. i am thinking of putting it up for the 25th anniversary pictures.. so thats less than ONE MONTH away..

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growing hair out 

hmmmm... havent posted for a couple days.... what have i been DOING that would interfere with this? well... let me see.. OH,,, honeymoon got confused about date of doctors appt... and it happened to be tuesday...(he wouldnt believe me... was walking out the door to go to work .... dressed for work.. had his work truck RUNNING... ) i had to drag him to the calendar first .. then to the fridge where the appt card was... THEN he realized that his appt was THAT tuesday.. and only 2 hours away...
i made arrangements for daughters transportation (dont even get me STARTED on this...) and went with him (its an hour drive BOTH ways to town...
well... of course they had NO good news there... no.. he WONT get any better.. no they DONT have anything else at this time they can do for him...*sigh*...
since when arent doctors GODS anymore..*L*... where is doctor welby when i need him..
so... we spent the rest of the day in town... ALONE (horrors! ) and had lunch.. (buffet.. cool... so many low carb choices!) and went to costco...
honeymoon got me a HUGE george forman grill that is stainless steel looking ... and cooks 4 HUGE burgers at one time..(fine.. we dont ever NEED four burgers.. whatsyerpoint? )
i got me another big ol' white king sized MICROFIBER blanket.. daaaaaaaaaaayum those babies are nice.. cozy.. light and warm... LOVE THAT! 19 bucks.. oh yeah...
i have this wierd obsession..(fine ! i have ALOT of obsessions... leaves..ivy.. pears.. palm trees.. hmmmmmm god.. i AM wierd...:-( ...... yikes!)
where was i? oh.. obsession... i tend to CHANGE FURNITURE AND HOME DECOR on an almost DAILY basis... never happy... move this.. change that... paint walls... paint over... put up curtains.. take down curtains... move the pictures here dear...;-( ...move that mirror now..
can you move the cable cords so i can move the TV AGAIN???
*sigh*.. you get the picture... its SICK... i dont know why i do it... but i am sure it drives my family nuts... (because i enlist them to HELP duh!)
where was this going??? oh.. yeah.. the blanket... i bought ONE one day.. daughter picked up ANOTHER for me a couple days later.... and honeymoon bought the THIRD one..
now i LOVE the blankets.... and the concept is that i dont want to NOT have one when the kiddos ruin it...but in PRACTICE it is that i am obsessed with NOT RUNNING OUT ...
i have done that with food all my life i think... i eat IN CASE there isnt more when i want it..(stupid..really) .. i recall dad making bread .. rolls... and always almost FORCING us to eat more than we wanted..(in a nice manner.. of course) and mom buying us chips (lays bbq ) pepsi and m&m's when she had extra moola..or we would take BOTTLES back to get the return money,,, then the treatfest began..*L*
now days... if i find a shirt i like... i buy THREE or pillows? three or four extra..glasses or dishes? must get extra...
find a decor item i like? get EVERYTHING in that motif...odd... i am really really odd..
i have found tho... doing low carb... i dont eat everything and add more to it ... i dont keep "looking" for something to cram into my mouth even when i am CLEARLY not hungry...
unless i am hugely stressed..(or at least in MY mind..hugely stressed) then i find i do feel like cramming crap in my mouth i CLEARLY dont want..or need...
but now... i keep that stuff LOW CARB... and it doesnt seem such a bad thing..
one can only eat so many salads.*L*...

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walking nov. 8 2004 

youngest grandkiddo ..watchin shrek on grammys big screen... :-) aint he cute? awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

well.. i did it... bit the bullet and paid for the NBA season pass .. so i can get all of my basketball games on tv...
i really love basketball.... and having a daughter who loves it almost as much as me is terrific...
i have made attempts to get my grandsons .. three of them at least... to be interested in it too... i want to have these guys drag my old bones to BLAZER games when i am 80 years old..(hey .. dont laugh... its only 28 years from now... and hell... the FIRST 52 years of my life just B L E W by... okay.. with the exception of certain days..... certain MOMENTS... but still.....
i enjoy my grandkiddos immensely.... its odd to be a grandparent... really...
i saw MY grandparents up till i was 6 years old.... at that point.. my parents moved from new york to arizona... we NEVER went back to new york to visit relatives.. NEVER.. not even once...
when i find myself looking at my grand kiddos with adoring eyes... sometimes i actually am silly enough to be jealous.... yep.. me.. jealous of a little kiddo..
i have some memories of my family in new york... i have glimpes of my grandmother (moms side) who had an AWESOME player piano.. mom would be crankin at us to leave it alone... but grandma would always hush her up and "let the babies play" i love that memory...
i have memory of an uncle (dads side) who used to spin me around on the rollerskating rink and leave me in the middle to PLEAD for him to SAVE ME! *L* .. he did... and i always remember him being SUCH a skating GOD..*grin*
i know my dad was a twin.... and he left them all behind too..(his family) ... he had several siblings... and so did my mom... but they never called.... never wrote... and never went back and visited..
i recall getting a knock at the door one nite ... a telegram telling my mom that her MOM had died.. i recall my mom crying a cry that i had NEVER seen before in my life...
she didnt go back for the funeral... (i recall her saying we didnt have money to.... and god knows we were DIRT poor in those days... in fact ALL of my childhood days...)
i recall my mom telling me that dad and a brother had gotten into an argument..or something... and didnt want to have anything to do with him any more...
but the rest of their families? how wierd... the older i get.... the wierder it seems.... but then... i havent seen MY brothers in over 15 years... maybe twenty.... talked to one on the phone a handfull of times when mom was dying...
so anywho... today i was looking at my two year old grandkiddo with adoring eyes (as usual) ... and i was wishing once again that I had had the memories... of MY grandparents doing the same for me...
and maybe... just MAYBE...one of the grandkiddos.. boys AND girls ... will someday recall that their grammy loved them so very much... that they will drag her frail bones to a BASKETBALL game... and not mind doing it at all...

(taken oct 30th 2004 )


i looked at this picture that i took last saturday on my cell phone... and i saw ME... wierd... i have looked at pictures for several years now that bear NO resemblance to what i percieved I looked like...
funny... its something my mom used to say when she got into her 70's.."kimmy kel.. who IS that old woman in the mirror looking back at me?? "
something i heard over and over and OVER again... well.... when she died three years ago i found i found myself looking in the mirror and seeing someone who i didnt recognize..
now dont get me wrong...I DONT expect to look the same at 52 that i did at say 26... but i DIDNT expect to NOT recognize ME anymore either,,
thanks to low carbing...(oh fine.. and probably getting the GRIEVING out of my system) i am starting to get back the old me... the one that smiles alot... who likes to laugh... the one that USED to be called "smiley" when i was younger,.....
low carbing is more than a way of EATING for me,.. its a TOOL by which i can make my life into what I want it to be...